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Archive for March, 2011

Create on demand

This is an image of the east of Anacapa islands. It is a part of the of Channel islands, a chain of islands, lying to the west of Ventura, California. On a clear day, we can see these islands from the ocean front (habor, beaches and pier of Ventura).

I often gaze at this magnificent work of mother nature and wonder. Her brilliance, tenacity and  perseverance is unparalleled. She must have dreamed up this creation of hers and chiseled away at it since the planet took on the form of earth, water and air.

Similarly we can create what we want through deliberate action. This demands for discipline and at times seems not worth the effort. It seems easier to complain than create, right? But chipping away into our subconscious programming and rewiring our neural pathways with new commands, we can honestly create a desired life for ourselves.

Affirmations, dream boards, journaling, meditations are all ways of creating positive changes in our realities. They take time, patience and perseverance. Hypnosis is the most effective and easy way of creating our reality in the quickest possible time. These results are longer lasting and easy to maintain.

It takes 21 times to create a new habit, and 3 times of not doing something that will get us out of a habit. You must know someone or experienced it yourself. When you did not go for the walk or to the gym or stick to the diet for one day and the next day it got harder to get back and on the third day you quit, isn’t it?

In order to create on demand, you must understand how this law works and work it. Stay tuned to learn more.

Until then Aloha!


De-mystify Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy is not:
1. Power control: One cannot use hypnotherapy to control someone else’s mind. There is no way a client gives away all their secrets when under hypnosis. The one who is in control during hypnosis is the client. It is very easy to get into a state of hypnosis as it is to get out of it. You are always in control.

2. Using psychic power: Once someone asked me if using hypnosis they could find out things from another time. She had lost her journal and wanted to know where she had left it. There is no way hypnosis can help you with that. To solve mysteries or unsolvable cases, we need psychics to tap into this power, not a hypnotherapist.

3. Mind reading: The first reaction of most of my friends when I enrolled in the school of hypnotherapy was “now I need to be careful or you may find out all my secrets.” A hypnotherapist can never read anyone else’s thoughts using hypnosis. If there are any correct guesses it is just like a mother can tell when a child is lying, which is more intuition and not hypnosis.

4. Learning someone else’s secret: Like I mentioned before, using hypnosis does not allow anyone to sit in a room and find out what some one else is thinking through the practice of hypnosis. If you want to know a secret, go ask their best friend and good luck with it.

5. Predicting the future: We cannot tell what is going to happen to us or others using hypnosis. For that we need clairvoyants and psychic readers who can tap into the future for divinations and predictions. No syllabus of hypnotherapy includes “predicting the future”.

6. Stage acting: There are many shows on cruises and in Vegas and elsewhere where someone saw people getting on stage and under the direction of a hypnotist acted out to entertain the audience. It is true and this is called stage hypnosis. This is not what any hypnotherapist would do to their clients. This is merely what it is called: “stage hypnosis”.

7. Isn’t just about weight loss and smoking cessation: Whenever I tell anyone that I am clinical hypnotherapist, right away they ask me “do you help people lose weight?” or “can you help people stop smoking?”. Hypnosis does help people lose weight and stop smoking.

Weight gain and smoking has to do with unresolved emotions which impact lifestyles and eventually health. When we help with symptoms and not causes, the problem easily recurs.

Hypnotherapy does more than help you lose weight and stop smoking. It hands you back the key to your life. You become the front seat driver.

8. Something that is done to someone else: All hypnosis is self-hypnosis. The hypnotherapist is the facilitator who helps the client achieve the state of homeostasis so as to work through their prior conditioning and create new habits.

9. Is not mere hypnosis: Anyone can read a book or go to a weekend seminar and learn how to hypnotize, but what after that? Only a hypnotherapist can help you overcome your emotional blocks, change your habits and achieve your goals using hypnosis.

Flow Your Strength…

Our strengths come from resistance. Imagine yourself working on your muscles. What will do each day when you go to the gym? You will work with weights that need you to push a little bit harder for your muscles to get stronger, won’t you? Similarly when our flow is resisted, our flow gets stronger. When you see a mountain river, it’s flow is constantly resisted by rocks and boulders. This river seems wild and powerful, for it is overcoming the resistance and continuing to flow. Once the same river has arrived at the planes, guess what? It seems serene and beautiful, gracefully making its way to the ocean.

We are just like this river. Each resistance we encounter, make our mental muscles gain strength. Remember the theory of “survival of the fittest” by Charles Darwin. It is so true in every aspect of our existence. As we work through the resistances in our journey, we gain strength and wisdom. In future when you are in a similar situation, it is no longer a resistance, but a part of your natural flow.

Our conflicts make us stronger. Our enemies are truly a friend in disguise. Though we need our friends all the time, to bandage our bruises, in hind sight they seem to flatter us and of course help us heal. Our enemies instead keep challenging us. Whenever we feel we have overcome one challenge, we realize there is a fresh new set in front of us, only urging us for time and in exchange making us aware of our strength.

With time, we become strong enough to remain in the flow. We also grow wise and know when to take on a new challenge or continue with the flow. Like a yoga practitioner who flows their strength with grace, we have it in us. So when a situation arises, just decide for yourself whether you need to handle it for now or go with your plans and revisit the situation.

In retailing industry, though there may be a plan for the day, one can never predict a day with 100% accuracy. It’s just like the weather. So we must be prepared to work through situations while being strong and retaining the flow. The pace of the flow may slow down because of the resistance, but it never stops, all along making us stronger. Strength and wisdom come only with perseverance.

So for today, decide if you will work through the conflicts, or put them on a pause and flow without resistance. Either way, remember to smile and breathe.

Our shadows are beautiful.

“you see but your shadow when you turn your back to the sun” – from my friend

This morning I received this line and began my reflection on shadows. Years ago I had seen this image widely published in a national geography magazine. What we see as the dark camels in this image is actually the shadow of the camels. The tiny white scars on the sand are the camels. This image fascinated me much and stayed with me. So when I heard my friend say the aforesaid statement, I felt it is time.

I have watched and followed shadows and many a times merged into my shadow when I did not need it anymore. In this image we notice that some of us have the shadow in front of them and some have it behind them. It all depends in whether we are walking towards the sun or away from it.

There are three instances when we cast no shadow.

  1. We are the light. Enlightened beings do not cast a shadow. Anandamoyi Maa was known not to cast a shadow.
  2. We are surrounded by light. When we have light coming at us from all the directions in 360 degrees, we cannot cast a shadow. But it has a blinding effect. Many experience it in dream states, after life experiences etc.
  3. We are in total darkness.

Our shadows are a part of ourselves. Judge them not, for they are you. The more we work with our shadows, the easier it becomes to get closer to light and become the light. In so many ways we are light in many lives. Just like, anyone we look up to is a light in our lives.

Often we find people in our lives, people of the same gender as us, who push our buttons, make us act out. Pay attention to them, for they are our shadows. Take notice of when, how and where they make us irritate or frustrate us. People we envy are usually our shadows. Keep them close for they will help you grow with a deeper understanding of yourself. They are our best teachers and of course our best friends.

It takes time for us to feel that the person who irritates us is our friend, but they truly are. When we are done with our shadow work, either they will be our best friend or go away forever, for we do not need them anymore to grow. A feeling of deep gratitude and fond memory will linger.

Not all our shadows are dark. We have great assets hidden in our shadows. Debbie Ford calls this as “light shadows”. I would love to believe that all our shadows are light shadows, for they are cast only because we are in the light.

So look at your shadow. Dance and play with it. Enjoy!


The Law of Attraction

Whether you believe in it or not, it is working all the time. Everything we experience in our outer worlds either through our senses or in dreams is a mere reflection of our inner beings. For we are all and all is in me.

So much has been spoken of and talked about on this topic, that I had to publish my “2 cents” on the web.

We do not have to believe in it, just like law of gravity. Even when we were not aware of it, it existed and worked. Most of us take law of gravity for granted. Similarly law of attraction exists and works and there will be a time, when our consciousness we take it for granted and not question it.

You may ask, so how does it work? A few questions come up, what about the four year old baby with cancer, the eight year old who was molested, or the 11 year old who died from a shooting incident while playing in front of the house?

We are not alone. We exist before we are physically conceived. There are nearly 7 billion people on the planet. Everyone affects the other. Things that happened before we were born, still affect us. When a dictatorial regime goes wrong, gas prices go up in a town where no one had heard of this nation before. Most people in Ventura never heard of Bahrain or ever spoke of Libya. Today our gas price is nearing $4 a gallon. We attracted this, through our collective consciousness.

When a child dies from cancer or a gunshot, the city rises, the nation awakens, a core of humanity gets a jolt. We re-evaluate our lives, our values and our possessions. The child was part of every human on the planet. The child acted as a teacher for us to reflect.

Our material consciousness not serving us anymore somehow pushes either towards more materialism and blaming or spirituality and taking responsibility. Our external materialism and spirituality is a creation of our inner beings, our desire to learn more, have more, do more and be more.

There was a time when something had happened and we did not know of it. It was not part of our reality, we had not attracted it into our consciousness. For manifestation to occur we need opposites. Flow happens from high  to low pressure. Energy flows from positive to negative and back to positive in any circuit or battery. When we accept the negative, we can manifest.

The negative is as much a part of our reality as our positive. Did you know happiness, for you were sad once? How about wealth, did you appreciate for you once did not have it? Do you appreciate your health, for you had fallen sick before? All exists in us. We create it. We attract it to help us grow for materially and spiritually.

Here’s to your  creation, manifestation and attraction.


Forgiveness – A journey to freedom

I personally practice Ho’oponopono everyday. But before I got to the space where it was easy as a breath, this is what worked for me. Like all great things, including the ripening of a sweet fruit on the branch of a tree, we need, patience, guidance and grace.

According to Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D., a senior Jungian analyst, in her book Women Who run with the wolves, forgiveness is a four step process. Every religious institution and spiritual organization,

  1. forego
  2. forebear
  3. forget
  4. forgive

People oft repeat that to forgive one must forget. So how do we go about it? Before we even begin to forget we have to forebear we must forego. The best way to get started is to take a break. Give yourself a break from that which is hurtful. Take a time out from the person or the place that has hurt you. It’s almost like taking a vacation from that which hurts. This helps us in gathering ourselves back into what feels safe. It helps us conserve energy by taking our attention away from what is unpleasant and focusing on what is pleasant. We grow stronger by focusing on what makes us happier.

It is a good practice to stay away and is the beginning of the forgiveness process. It does not mean the memory or the person or place will not show up in your realm. But do not entertain it longer than needed to move on. It is not easy but doable. The idea is to detach yourself from the issue or concern. It is also good to take on a new hobby, a passion that has been postponed for awhile – something creative, energizing anything that makes you happy, makes you smile, makes you wonder, makes you feel grateful. eg. Walking, swimming, singing, knitting…. Healing begins when we assure the wounded psyche that it will be offered healing balms now and deal with the cause of the injury later.

Once we get used to taking breaks from the hurt in long stretches, we must forebear. We abstain from punishing anyone either ourselves or the perpetrator. We do not think of it, in either small or large ways. This is very effective in containing the offense. We do not numb the pain nor are we seeking to test the waters under the bridge. But grant the situation some grace and check how it helps. Maybe something has changed with time and give it another chance. We need to be patient with ourselves and all around us and channel our emotions. Do only as much as you gone. Stop before you hurt again. Do not be resentful or hostile. Refrain from unnecessary from punishing thereby strengthening the integrity of action and soul. Practice generosity thereby allowing the great compassionate nature to participate in matters that would have earlier caused anywhere from minor irritation to violent rage.

Once we are away from the memory and have had a V-K dissociation from the event, we can refuse to dwell on the memory. By doing this we let go, we loosen hold on the memory. At times we do not realize but it is the memory which keeps reappearing and not us dragging the memory. The memory grabs a hold of us and it is called an obsessive behavior which is the opposite of that we are working with that. We consciously begin to forget and let go of the event, to not insist it stay in the foreground, but rather allow it to be relegated to the background or move off stage. A practice in ho’oponopono where we send our memory from the stage in love and light.

Conscious forgetting means refusing to summon up the energy that made us mad or sad in the past. It means not to haul up hurtful thoughts, or turn them over and over, to work oneself upby repititive thought, picture or emotion. Consciously dropping the practice of obsessing, intentionally outdistancing and losing sight and not looking back. This allows us to live in a new landscape, creating new life, new experiences to think about instead of old ones. It does not erase the memory but lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest.

A final forgiveness is not surrender, it is a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment. It includes not harboring resentment, and forgiving a debt, giving up the resolve to retaliate. Consciously decide when to forgive and the ritual to mark the event. Giving compassionate aid to the offending party is also a form of forgiveness. Respond from a stance of mercy, security and preparedness. This is giving up the coldness and not giving up self protection. Cease excluding the other. It is better to limit contact with that which has been forgiven than being a cold manikin in its constant presence.

Forgiveness is an act of creation. You can limit how many more chances you give anywhere from 0 to infinity – you can forgive partly or whole or none at all. Devise a blanket and you decide. The way to know you have forgiven is when you feel sorrow and not rage. You tend to have nothing left to say or remember at all. You understand the suffering that led to the offense in the beginning. You remain out of the event completely and are not waiting for anything. You are not wanting anything. There is no strings attached and you are free to stay or move on again it is your choice. It may not be a happily ever after ending but it is definitely a beginning of a fresh new “once upon a time” waiting for this day forward.

World and You

” in the wise and gentle heart lies the strength to change the world.” Buddhist teachings.

Everyone today is trying to do something to change the world or in a way to influence the change. But until the change comes from a place of peace and power, the change is temporary. when wisdom does not back the power, it is mere force that eventually destroys the source of the change.

Most change in the world that is self-sustaining has its source in someone not very glamorous or flamboyant. Alexander and Jesus both tried to change the world. Hitler and Gandhi both worked on changing the world. Mother Theresa and Madonna (material girl) both brought about change. You be the judge and decide which change has progressed.

So when you work to create change in your world, journey to your place of peace. Only there you shall find your peace which will sustain your efforts and create the change that will carry you to your goal, no matter how small or large.

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